an outlet of encouragement, explanation, and exhortation

Category: Christian Living (Page 6 of 8)

11. Practice and Experience

Theoretically, allowing God to call people into the ministry He chooses without seeking to promote one’s own place or position will lead to the same results, whether one is a complementarian or an egalitarian or something in between. However, in practice, expectations matter. Examples matter. It is all too easy to conform to externalities, regardless of whether these externalities limit the possibilities for women’s ministry or encourage stretching the boundaries of tradition.

No one can deny that women have been vitally involved in leadership among God’s people and in the church over the years, beginning with Miriam and Deborah in scripture and continuing with others.

In the history of the church, one simply cannot deny that women have carried the lion’s share of the ministry and leadership on many mission fields, producing healthy national, regional, and local churches. This ministry on the mission field often required women missionaries to teach and disciple national leaders who were men.

Some complementarians explain these awkward facts by claiming the sometimes God will use women in leadership in situations where the church is weak, but that his ideal is that leadership should be carried by men. Therefore, they argue for maintaining limitations on the leadership of women in the church in spite of the numerous examples of God using women in ways that obviously exceed these limitations.

Let us assume for sake of argument here that these complementarians are correct, and that God has only used women in leadership and teaching positions under in circumstances where the church is not healthy or weak. If this is so, then would it not be improper to institute church regulations that prevented God from calling women to lead a weak or unhealthy church?

My own experience, however, stands against this claim. I’ve had the blessed experience of knowing some excellent leaders, both men and women. My own assessment of the various leaders I have served with at the denominational level, for example, is that the best board chairman that I served with was a woman. She did an excellent job of leading the board to listen to the Spirit of God and obey. It was a privilege to learn from her and see God glorified through her leadership. There was no shortage of gifted male leaders available on this board; and there were still other gifted men who could have served on this board. And yet God called this woman to lead. I could not say otherwise without denying God the glory He deserves from what He accomplished through this woman’s leadership.

And that’s just the point. When the church is operating as it should, God raises up leaders who are not self-serving but rather God-serving. They are not advancing a feminist or patriarchal agenda. They are faithfully serving as empowered by His Spirit, and it brings glory to God in magnificent ways that are a blessing to all involved. How can it be justified to set up barriers to what God has chosen to do, both in the history preserved for us in scripture and in the history of the church since? How could it be right to set up structures that would exclude the possibility of what God has already done?

Lastly, the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few. I’ve been in ministry long enough to know that there is an overall serious shortage of leadership in the church. Leadership can be lacking because the wrong people are placed in positions of responsibility to which they are not called by God. However, when God calls, I’m delighted to serve alongside his chosen leaders no matter their gender. We need more leaders, and I’d guess that about half of them will be women!

My own wife, Susan, for example, is a gifted and excellent leader. She has been a leader all her life, in all sorts of situations, with all sorts of people. My profile is similar. For my whole life, I’ve naturally migrated into leadership in groups that I work with. I don’t think it has simply been a prideful thing of wanting to be the leader for either of us, generally speaking. (I should confess that I am sure, for my part, that it has sometimes been a matter of human striving or pride, more so when I was younger and (hopefully) less so as I have grown in Christ’s likeness. I don’t know any people with leadership gifts for whom this has never been an issue.)

Yet while both of us are accustomed to leadership, we are quite different in our natural and spiritual gifts for leadership. I am a starter and problem-solver who thinks strategically and likes to develop other leaders. Got a crisis? Call me; I thrive on them. I grow bored when leadership becomes more administrative, managing the details of a large organization. Susan is one who values having a plan and making it work, and is very gifted at making sure that all the details are planned and organized just as they should be. Which of us should be in charge of the checkbook in our home? Which of us would make the best COO? We’re both quite capable of doing a fine job, but it would be a fool who chose me over her for that sort of responsibility.

God handed out the gifts, and it is up to us to use them appropriately. It’s not a matter of me being a man and her being a woman! In fact, if I am to be a good leader, it is incumbent upon me to recognize her gifts and make space for them to flourish. God will be glorified in that. God would not be glorified by me insisting that I take roles in our relationship for which God did not suit me and for which he has created in her amazing gifts and talents.

(I do not mean to imply that God never chooses to stretch people by calling them into particular responsibilities of leadership for which others might seem more qualified. He seems to do this regularly. And then there is the small detail that God sees things that we don’t see; and Goliath falls to David, the son of Jesse that Samuel least expected to anoint as king. And even that is to say nothing of the times that God seems to choose leaders so as to leave no possibility of anyone mistaking that success came from anyone other than God; Jacob or Gideon come to mind. Dwight Moody positively reveled in the fact that people saw him and the ministry God was doing around him in this way.)

Another matter of practical experience is that there is a need for female leadership in every church, even those who sincerely believe that the place of women in leadership should be very limited. The practical issue is that we can expect roughly fifty percent of the church’s members to be women. These women need leadership and teaching and shepherding that is not best done by men. How will that be facilitated in the church if there are no women acting as elders?

There will be women with leadership abilities and gifts in the church. There should be a legitimate way for these gifts to be employed in service to God and his church. The alternative is that women with leadership gifts will grow frustrated with the lack of outlet for the gifts God has given them. The “natural” result of this is that there grows to be informal, unofficial, and sometimes unhealthy mechanisms for leadership and influence to be exercised by women. When these mechanisms are forced “underground”, everything about developing these gifts and talents is vastly complicated and subject to distortion and abuse. That seems a poor way to organize!

Next… 12. Constructively Moving Forward

10. Blessing the Church

What motivates a Christian leader? Obedience to God and service to the church. We are not (or should not be) driven by personal ambition or social agendas. It’s that simple… at least in theory. We obey God and bless the church.

The gifts of the Spirit are to bless the church and build it up. We belong to one another for the common good. We exercise our gifts in order and not chaos. (Consider Paul’s instruction to the church in Corinth is 1 Corinthians 12-14.)

There is no justification for a Christian to seize leadership or dominate people. We serve in leadership; we lead to serve – not for self-aggrandizement. As Christians, we have no right to anything other than to imitate Christ. Christ’s attitude is the Philippians 2 attitude. He serves as our example.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7 but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death-
even death on a cross!

– Philippians 2:3-8, NIV

Speaking to the whole church, Peter writes:

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

– 1 Peter 5:5, NIV

The temptation we face is the desire to escape suffering and receive what we believe is due us. The enemy uses these desires to tempt us away from humility and suffering. In a way that must seem foolish to many in the world, Peter encourages the believers to allow God to take us through times of suffering in order to grow to be strong and steadfast.

Of course, Peter was talking to Christians who were persecuted by pagan or Jewish authorities. What about those who are persecuted by those who present themselves as the church? This is often a more difficult kind of injustice to accept. We expect those without Jesus to act like they are not in him. But we expect those who are God’s people to act in love with justice and truth. However, while we are always called to speak the truth in love, persecution in the church is not fundamentally different from persecution by those outside in terms of how God’s persecuted people undergo it… except perhaps that we may be called to an even higher standard of love in order to clearly testify to our identity as God’s people.

There is much scriptural precedent and teaching about suffering under injustice and little for aggressively or coercively forcing others to change to what we believe is right and true. It is not so much that we are to silently bear or tolerate injustice. It is that we are to speak the truth in love from a posture of humility rather than a posture of condemnation. We love in the same manner that God loves; we speak as God guides us to speak with an attitude that honors the example of Christ. Thus, as followers of Jesus we disavow the use of violence, force, manipulation, humiliation, and coercion. The improper use of power and influence makes winners and losers rather than building the body of Christ into unity.

17 Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. 21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you, although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.

-1 Corinthians 7:17-24, NIV

It is not necessary for Christians living in societies and cultures in which women are not treated as equals or allowed ministry opportunities to change those cultures and societies overnight. This is particularly true when we are coming as an outsider to a foreign culture. Our priority is the gospel of Jesus Christ, and we must allow other cultures and societies to work out Jesus’ teaching in their own ways and time as they respond to Christ, generally speaking. However, we must also be willing to be prophetic voices for truth and justice as God leads us to speak. If we speak when it is not God telling us to speak – ahead of his time – we are being idolatrous, allowing something other than God to rule in our hearts. And yet there is no room for complacency in bringing justice. There is no call to legalism of any type. God will lead us to speak the truth in love.

Above all, the self-serving pursuit of power, position, or authority is always sin whether it is in a man or a woman. The self-serving pursuit of power and authority has occurred in the name of male authority in the church; and the self-serving pursuit of power and authority has been done in the name of feminism and egalitarianism. Neither is acceptable among God’s people. Instead, we lay down our lives for the sake of our brothers and sisters, and allow God to call into leadership whom He would, when He would.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

-1 John 3:16

Love for others argues that we want them to exercise their gifts and callings under the Lordship of Christ. Gender is not the point. Calling, love, and obedience is the point. When God gives gifts and callings, he intends them to be used to bless the church.

Next… 11. Practice and Experience

9. Leadership and Spiritual Authority

In Christ, as taught through the Bible, there is a strong personal/spiritual dimension to leadership and relationships of authority. That is, leadership is exercised from a foundation of spiritual authority. This is the type of authority that Christ teaches to His disciples.

Loosely adopting Robert Clinton’s typology of authority, one can identify a number of types of authority. There is authority that is coercive, wherein one essentially forces another against their will. There is “induced” authority, which is based upon external reward, payment, or even bribery. There is positional authority, in which one has authority by virtue of having a particular position in society or a family or an organization. None of these three types of authority require a personal relationship; the parties involved need not know one another well or at all.

Other forms of authority involve a deeper relationship between the parties involved. For example, a fourth type of authority is competent authority. One gains this type of authority by virtue of being recognized as having special expertise or competence. Those who recognize this type of authority must have enough of a relationship to be aware of the particular expertise or competence. Sometimes, an educational degree or certification substitutes for the relational knowledge of competence. A fifth type of authority is personal authority. This type of authority comes from personal charisma or personal connections. This type of authority is very dependent upon a relationship through which the authority is gained.

Similarly, a last type of authority, spiritual authority, also depends upon the existence of a relationship through which the authority is gained. Spiritual authority is gained by virtue of a follower’s perception of spirituality or spiritual maturity in a leader. For example, it is gained as others see a leader living in a Christ-like manner, being guided and used by God to bless and lead others in truth and love, and displaying the fruit of the Spirit. This spiritual authority is what makes for recognition of a leader among God’s people. This is the type of authority that Christ was teaching His followers to depend on in John 13:12-17:

12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. 13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”

Other, lesser forms of authority cannot substitute for the spiritual authority upon which legitimate leadership in the church depends. In fact, some forms of authority are generally illegitimate in the context of the church, such as coercive or induced authority. In addition, some forms of authority are inferior to the spiritual authority that Jesus exemplified and taught: positional authority, competent authority, and personal authority fit this category. They are not in essence evil or illegitimate, and may even be extremely helpful God-given gifts for use in ministry, but they do not form the foundation for church leadership.

There is nothing about spiritual authority that is limited by gender. It is not gained by virtue of being one gender or another; neither is it thereby lost. In fact, spiritual authority may be earned and exercised completely outside formal structures and without formal recognition. Therefore, it is available to women on the same terms as it is available to men, though improper formal structures can inhibit the exercise of spiritual authority.

One might argue that if spiritual authority is not dependent upon the formal structure of the church or positional authority granted or recognized by the church that the issue of women being in formal positions of leadership is therefore moot. However, it seems more likely that a healthy church should seek to align its formal structures of leadership to be commensurate with the spiritual authority that those among God’s people have earned and demonstrated. This seems only wise. One certainly could not argue that positional authority can be assigned in ways that demonstrate disrespect of God-given spiritual authority! The teaching of scripture on how to choose elders and other leaders dwells much on matters of spiritual authority.

Secondly, formal authority structures, when not aligned with spiritual authority, can be a hindrance to its exercise. Those in positions of authority may come into conflict with those having spiritual authority; there are many tragic instances of this in the history of the church! There really is nothing we could hope for in our church structure that is better than aligning formal structures of authority with the spiritual authority that come from God.

Spiritual authority cannot be rightly denied or ignored; the nature of spiritual authority makes it impossible to ignore with wisdom, love, or truth.

Next… 10. Blessing the Church

8. Jesus’ Teaching or Dysfunctional Situations?

I believe the most important teaching for family and church relationships comes from Jesus. I believe that my way of relating as a man to women and as a husband to my wife should meet the standards Jesus taught for all relationships. I expect to treat women the way I would want to be treated if I were in their place. These attitudes must take precedence over less Christ-honoring ways. I love God first, and then I love my neighbor – including those who are women – as myself. I treat women the way I would want to be treated. I should see women as sons of God with full rights of inheritance. At least I should do all of these things; though undoubtedly I fail much.

Here are some of the scripture passages that inform my understanding.

Matthew 22:34-39

34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it:’Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 7:12

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Galatians 3:26-29

26 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

When it came to how Jesus himself related to women, it is clear that he did not respect all the boundaries of his Jewish culture. For example, in his culture the students of a rabbi were all male. Women were not expected to sit at the feet of a rabbi; that was a man’s place. So what is Jesus teaching by his example in the following passage?

Luke 10:38-42

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Jesus did not send Mary to the kitchen (or wherever women were expected to be by Martha and her society). Ignoring the conventions of his day, He allowed her to remain as a student at his feet. This was not an isolated incident. Jesus interacted with people in a Galatians 3 way. He stretched or ignored the conventions of his day with regard to Jew and Greek and Samaritan, slave and free, pure and impure, or male and female when it suited his purposes. In addition to Mary and Martha, I immediately think of the Samaritan woman at the well and Mary Magdalene, particularly Mary Magdalene being the first to see him alive after his resurrection. There are others.

Rikk Watts comments on this aspect of Jesus’ character in Christian Perspectives on Gender, Sexuality, and Community:

When the occasion arises where he must choose between personhood and traditional behaviour, he always chooses personhood by affirming the faith, love, understanding, and wit of various women, showing compassion and even on occasion rebuking them just as he would a misunderstanding male. In the meantime, his interest in teaching woman cannot help but eventually precipitate change. In Acts, along the same lines and generally in keeping with cultural mores but with an ultimately liberating although not deliberately polemically or confrontational cast, the Spirit uses both men and women to continue the proclamation of the gospel.

In other words, Jesus’ agenda is not gender driven. It reflects instead the earliest words of Genesis: “God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Gen 1:27, NIVI). Women are not objects, nor are men the enemy: both are made in God’s image and as such the reconstitution of humanity by the Son of Man begins with their mutual restoration and continues with the mutual co-operation in the announcement and extension of that reign.

But what are we to do with the passages in Paul and Peter that seem to confirm patriarchy and a limited role for women in marriage and the church? There are numerous books and articles that explain these passages from various perspectives. I have found some to be very helpful – particularly more modern treatments that consider the historical context. While there are many other books and articles (more than I can recall), here is a list of resources that I have found most helpful on these subjects:

  1. Listening to the Spirit of the Text, chapter six.
  2. Christian Perspectives on Gender, Sexuality, and Community
  3. The First Epistle to the Corinthians (New International Commentary on the New Testament) by Gordon Fee. The commentary on First Corinthians is very thorough and fairly academic. No other commentary on First Corinthians has been so helpful to me.
  4. After Paul left Corinth by Bruce Winter. This is an excellent resource for understanding the historical context of Roman Corinth in the time of Paul.
  5. Women’s Service in the Church, a conference paper by N. T. Wright.
  6. The Hard Sayings of Paul by Manfred Brauch, which is also included in the larger work Hard Sayings of the Bible.
  7. Slavery, Sabbath, War, and Women: Case Issues in Biblical Interpretation by Willard Swartley. This resource is fairly dense. Be prepared. It gives a very interesting and thorough historical discussion of biblical interpretation of four topics, including views of women.
  8. Roman Wives, Roman Widows: The Appearance of New Women and the Pauline Communities by Bruce Winter is another book on the historical context of Paul’s letters as it relates to women in ministry in Paul’s time.

The overall approach I take to these passages is to consider carefully the historical context and (as best as we can discern it) the reason for writing. We must be careful about generalizing for today from corrective passages written to dysfunctional groups of people in the first century. When Paul taught slaves how to be Christ-honoring slaves, he didn’t mean to endorse slavery as a Christian imperative. When Paul taught men and women how to be Christ-honoring husbands and wives in marriage as it was practiced at the time in Asia Minor, he didn’t mean to endorse a form of marriage in which women were considered hardly more than property as a Christian imperative. Jesus’ (and Paul’s) teaching on human relationships and the nature of life in Christ argues strongly for reworking our lives and cultures into forms that honor God’s intentions in Christ. As Jesus preached:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

-Luke 4:18-21, NIV

Paul worked within the structures of the day without endorsing them as normative for all Christians for all time. Gordon Fee summarizes the approach I believe we must take in Christian Perspectives on Gender, Sexuality, and Community:

The net result of all this seems clear enough: that Paul does not tear down existing structures, but neither does he sanctify them. Everything for him begins with Christ, his death and resurrection, whereby he established the new order, the new creation. In the new creation, two things happen: the relationship between man and woman in the first creation is restored, but that relationship must be lived out under the paradigm of the cross. In Christ Jesus there is neither male nor female, not meaning that differentiation has ceased, but that both alike enter the new creation on the same footing, and thus serve one another and the rest of the church in the same way their Lord did — by giving themselves to the other(s) out of love. Ministry is thus the result of God’s gifting and has nothing to do with being male or female, any more than it has to do with being Jew or Gentile, or slave or free.

In love, I desire the best for others. I hope that they will be free to fulfill the purpose for which God created them – exercising the gifts that God has given. That means I desire women to be free to exercise their gifts and callings as God gives and calls.

I believe God has been stretching the church beyond patriarchy, but not stretching in a way that “breaks” us. His goal in this time is not to set all things right immediately, but to restore human beings into a relationship with him out of which the kingdom of heaven grows in and around and through us, His body. Our role is to be Christ’s ambassadors to those who need him, laying aside our cultural habits and preferences for the sake of reaching others in whatever manner will speak to them – at least as it is consistent with forsaking sin and maintaining clear conscience. The priority is the good news of the kingdom of heaven breaking into our lives here and now. It is freedom for the prisoners, sight for the blind, and hope for the hopeless.

Christ’s impact on society is revolutionary more than scandalous or chaotic: we are called to rework society under the guidance of the Spirit but also to live within cultural forms to promote the gospel. How one knows whether to revolutionize or to submit to a culture’s forms is not simple! The only reliable answer is to follow the leading of the Spirit of God; he sets our agenda. Timing for cultural change rests with him. It is beyond question that the kingdom of heaven will bring cultural change and justice. And yet it will not destroy culture or erase all cultural differences.

If patriarchy is not God’s plan… if, in fact, it is a sinful denial of the image of God in women that stands in the way of bringing glory to God and having the abundant life God desires us all to have, do we need to fight it and speak out against it wherever it may be found? I believe the experience of Christians in cross-cultural mission and the testimony of scripture indicates that we are not necessarily called to take this approach. And yet we are not called to complacency either; we are to prophetically speak the truth in love.

In scripture, we see examples of patriarchal societies being reached by God’s people. God’s people did not make patriarchy the number one issue to speak against. In scripture concessions are made to patriarchal social patterns a number of times. While the direction of change among people who come to God has consistently been to improve the lot of women from what it was before they became God’s people, it is clear that the abolition of all patriarchal patterns in a particular society has not been the only or even the leading priority. And yet those living in these societies were called to justice and the way of love, particularly those who had power. God’s messengers have not necessarily been called to scandalize societies or force into positions of responsibility women who are not called and qualified for the sake of “equality”, but rather to promote the good news of the kingdom of heaven. This good news leads to Jesus being in charge. He will lead his people into healthy change that brings peace and joy and justice to both men and women without complacency. A bruised reed he will not break.

At the same time, God’s messengers to a society have often confronted evil so great that it could not wait another day to be addressed. The Christian missionaries who campaigned to abolish wife burning and enslavement of women in the sex trade are good examples of this. Those of us who go as God’s ambassadors must seek His guidance and embody His character. He is in charge; we are not. John Stackhouse’s book Finally Feminist is a helpful consideration of the idea that God’s agenda is not gender-driven.

Have God’s people been more a force to conserve evil or unjust social patterns or more a force for change leading to justice? We can say this: God’s people have not been ideal stewards of the kingdom of heaven, but God has accomplished through his people dramatic change for the betterment of society and justice for the powerless, including women. To the extent that we are faithful, God will lead us to be agents of change in the right places at the right times and in the right ways to bring about change that pleases God without bringing chaos to the societies in which we live. The coming of the good news of Jesus has consistently been good news for both women and men and leads any society that takes it seriously into great change.

Next… 9. Leadership and Spiritual Authority.

Personal Spiritual Retreat

On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”
-John 7:37-38, NIV

Acknowledgement

My comments below are often based on what I heard on audio from a lecture by Annette Fergusson given at Regent College as a part of the Christian Thought and Culture I class. The lecture, entitled The Contemporary Christian and Spirituality, was a guide for students who were encouraged to make a one-day retreat. I am indebted to her for her simple clarity and helpful concrete suggestions. The practice she recommends has helped to fill me again and again with peace and life from the never-lacking source that is Jesus our Lord.

Introduction – What is is?

The practice of Christian retreat has a long history in the Church. It is a decision to make space in one’s life, setting aside everyday activities to seek the Lord in prayer. We follow the example of Jesus, who set aside times of retreat from the press of his ministry and other human beings. Consider Mark 1:32-39, Psalm 62:5-8, Luke 5:16, and Luke 6:12-13. Each of us comes to a retreat with differing needs. Your experience will not precisely mirror mine, or be the same each time.

Spiritual disciplines aren’t just enforced time with God, they’re rewiring the circuitry of our brains, forming and shaping disciples.
– Rob Moll, We Are Family, Books & Culture, Nov/Dec 2011

I recommend from 3 to 4 hours up to one day done in such a way as to avoid the need for overnight preparation. Keep it simple and easy. Don’t worry about food; fast for the duration of the retreat. (Perhaps take some water along.) I have nothing against more extended times of retreat. However, such times will require more calendar arranging and preparation. The practice I am recommending is intended to be simple and repeatable monthly or more often. Time with God is vital (John 15:1-8) if we are to bear much fruit.

Why a Retreat?

In our busy society, we face pressures at many levels. Setting aside a time for individual communion with God is a necessity. It is how we are designed to live. As we take time for intentional prayer and meditation alone, we come to see ourselves in the light of the Holy Spirit. With an attitude of openness to what the Spirit may do in us, we allow God to change us. He forgives, redeems, and encourages. He transforms us as we are drawn into a deeper relationship with him.

Getting Started

We come to God bringing everything we are and everything we are experiencing. We meet him heart, soul, mind, and body using all of our senses.

  1. Find a place where to be alone. I prefer natural settings outdoors. You will discover what works best for you. Experiment as necessary with location. Below is a list of some local places that I like. Others may choose a quiet room or indoor setting free from distraction and association with everyday life: a room in a church building or a friend’s home might do well. I find it helpful to walk a few miles (an hour or so) before settling down for the actual retreat. I process thoughts and clear my mind. There is something settling about walking quietly.
  2. Choose to be alone for your retreat. Solitude is a learned spiritual practice.
  3. Turn off your phone and other means of being contacted.
  4. Keep a notepad or journal available. Write down distractions, things you forgot that need doing, observations, thoughts you want to remember, whatever seems helpful. It can be helpful to write out prayer or reflections. Others use a notepad as a place to store things that will steal your attention from the retreat when they come to mind, attempting to draw you back to your everyday activity.
  5. You may find it helpful to use something to focus your attention on your purpose to spend time with God. I usually keep a Bible in sight. Others use a cross. Find a way to keep yourself focused.
  6. Fill your time during the retreat with thanksgiving. Begin with prayer. Ask for grace anticipating in a prayer of trust what God is going to do with your time together. Ask for his blessing and protection on this time. Express your desire to know him and his ways and purposes more deeply and clearly. Make yourself available to him. Think Romans 12:1-2.
  7. Start with a time of quiet worship. The form of your worship will vary from person to person and time to time. The idea of worship is to speak out verbally or mentally your praise to God, to dwell on his glory and express your recognition of who He is. Honor his name. The following scripture passages are good sources of worship thoughts and words: Psalms 9, 18, 19, 23, 24, 29, 30-34, 65, 66, 89, 92, 100, 103-105, 107, 111, 113, 117, 118, 134-136, 145-150, 2 Samuel 22

Lectio Divina

Lectio Divina (divine reading) is a way of reading scripture that promotes communion with God and internalizing the teaching of scripture. There are other forms of Bible study for other occasions; this form is good for retreat.

  • Reading: Choose a passage from Scripture that you will meditate on. I find it helpful to choose in advance of the retreat, but allow God to guide you. (Below are some possible passages if you would find this helpful.) Keep in mind that it is content rather than volume that matters. Read slowly, allowing the words of the text to speak to you. Pay attention to the Spirit as you read. When a word or phrase captures your attention, stop and reread it. Write it down if that helps.
  • Meditation: Enter into the Scripture you have read so that you become a participant rather than an observer. Allow the scripture to speak into your own life.
  • Prayer: Consider your feelings and thoughts as you have read and meditated and express them in prayer to God. Be honest with him and tell him what you are thinking, even if you are in doubt or do not understand or have feelings that you find uncomfortable. (He knows, anyway.) There is benefit in just opening up your heart to God to share thoughts, feelings, and even fears. (Like the Psalmists…) When you have emptied yourself of these things, it may be time to move on to contemplation.
  • Contemplation: Sit quietly and enjoy the presence of the Lord. Do not rush this time. Practice his presence; He is with you, so focus your awareness on Him. Seek intimacy with God. Listen. Enjoy your surroundings without losing focus on God and the passage and your thoughts. What God has made declares his glory.

After the time in scripture, it may suit God’s purposes for this time to study or read something else, or prepare a lesson, or write. I sometimes find this time profitable for planning future teaching, preaching, writing, or for other activities requiring thoughtful preparation. But these fruits are the bonuses of retreat, not a “goal” for the retreat. Accept what God offers, whether it is quiet enjoyment, insights, ideas, conviction, or whatever.

Prayer of Thanksgiving.

Close with a prayer in which you thank God for whatever he has brought to this time. The reality of God’s presence empowers us to re-enter everyday life to overflow with the life He gives us. This extended time of retreat can prepare the way for shorter times of daily devotion that incorporate pieces of what we experience in retreat. We are anchored by the time we spend with Him.

A Prayer Partner or Coach

I suggest that you work with a prayer partner or coach before and after your personal spiritual retreat. It will help you to stay focused and accountable. Your prayer partner or coach can encourage you and help you process the things God reveals when you are with him. Share what God is doing in your life, and where he is leading. Pray together for the retreat and an aftermath of overflowing life.

Scripture for Lectio Divina

Here are some possible scriptures to get started in the Lectio Divina portion of retreat. Some of these passages may be too long for one study time. Choose a short enough section of scripture that you can get your mind around it at one time. It may be helpful to do some contextual study and word study to prepare in advance for Lectio Divina. The richer your knowledge of the content of the scripture, the more God can speak to you through it.

  • Genesis 1, 2, 3, 15
  • Isaiah 6, 11 and others
  • Sections of Ezekiel
  • Psalm 139
  • 2 Corinthians 2:14 to 6:2. Chapter 3 is a favorite of mine.
  • Ephesians 2, 3, 4:1 to 5:20
  • Galatians 3:1 to 4:7
  • Galatians 5 and 6
  • Hebrews 10 and 12
  • Matthew 5-7 (the Sermon on the Mount, including the Beatitudes and the Lord’s Prayer)
  • parables often make a good study
  • Revelation 21 and 22

Places for Personal Spiritual Retreat

I try to pick easily accessible outdoor locations that do not require a long drive. So I will focus on that sort of place in and near Long Beach. Here are a few possibilities. Experiment and find spots that work for you. Suggestions are welcome.

  • South Coast Botanic Gardens is probably my favorite. There is an admission charge. There are some remote sites in the gardens where you will rarely be disturbed.
  • El Dorado Nature Center is a good location, but all trails can be busy with walkers. I see others doing retreat-like things here. There is a charge for driving into the parking area, but no admission fee.
  • Hopkins Wilderness Park often has some places where you can be alone.
  • Hilltop Park in Signal Hill is a good place to pray over the city. It is somewhat busy for retreat purposes.
  • Rancho Los Cerritos and Rancho Los Alamitos have nice garden areas.
  • There are several city parks where you can find a shady, secluded picnic table at which to sit. Here are a few that have worked: Stearns Park, El Dorado Park, Heartwell Park
  • Deane Dana Friendship Park in San Pedro has become one of my favorite places for the walking portion of retreat. There is only one large set of picnic tables at the edge of the park at which to sit after walking. Shade is practically non-existent; so this is a park I use mostly in the winter. It is possible to walk from the southwest corner of the park all the way down to the ocean through Shoreline Park and then to the trails along the Trump National Golf Club and Dog Beach in Palos Verdes, which is another good winter retreat spot. There is also parking for this public area at the golf club.

You can download a copy of this post as a document here.

You can also download the slides from a sermon on spiritual retreat I gave on June 10, 2012. A PDF of the sermon slides is at here. The sermon audio is available here as an MP3 and the Powerpoint slides here.

To love at all is to be vulnerable.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
— C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Thinking about sex?

I’ve been asked in past days about whether the standard that sex before marriage is wrong – that Christians must wait for marriage to have sex – might not be a cultural standard from biblical times that doesn’t apply in our context today. I don’t believe the argument that this is a cultural thing that is optional for today. I’ll explain.

There is much pressure to have sex these days in contexts other than that for which sex was designed. Allow me to be blunt. God created human beings in his image; male and female he created them. Then he instructed them to be fruitful and multiply, and created marriage as the context within which to fulfill this good command, saying it was not good for us to be alone.

And it is manifestly not good to be alone. Living alone, without a mate, is a special calling and gift that God gives to some that they might be devoted to the special work of this day of salvation. For most, and even for those who have this gift, being alone is a trial. I believe God can carry us through whatever trial we may face; but it is a trial. (There are other reasons that a special calling to be alone for a time, but I’ll leave that discussion for another day.)

Sex is an expression of the oneness, the union, that God creates when a woman and a man marry. As Christ said, “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” The point here is not to complain about the separations that occur so often in our society, but to note that God is the one who joins a man and a woman in marriage. Then, the man and the woman express this spiritual reality in the physical union of sex, having children, and being a family together. Sex between those whom God joins in marriage is an expression of his creative and fruitful image, the two being one and producing more like themselves as God is three in one and created us in his image.

Now, we all know that sex is about more than making babies. Let’s be honest. It is an amazing expression of love and intimacy (in its best expressions) that bonds the lovers together in a sense of intimacy that is deeply satisfying and encouraging. There is really nothing like being loved, and having that love demonstrated by another giving to you of themselves physically is an amazingly good thing. Similarly, there really is nothing like loving another, and giving of yourself to that one in a special way that demonstrates the uniqueness of your love for that person. These days, most Christians and many others understand that being promiscuous is not a good approach to life. But many waver on whether sex should wait for marriage. We have the technology! We can prevent pregnancy! Everyone else is expecting sex, and it seems like something I should want, so why not have sex with that special one that you are with?

The answer is simple. God didn’t make you that way. He did not make you or me for serial monogamy. He made us for the total commitment of marriage. Sex is an expression of that total commitment that naturally carries the potential of having a child. We see the shortcoming of having a child when there is no commitment to the family within which that child will be nurtured. However, when we can make sure there is no child… what’s the harm? Social mores come and go. They waft through the air like clouds in the sun, evaporating and storming here and there. God’s design is not like that. Do you trust him? That’s the question. Do you believe that life as God intended it to be lived is better than some other life that you can construct for yourself? Do you think you can escape the relational consequences of putting the physical expression of a marriage commitment ahead of the marriage?

The world may not end if you fall to the temptation to have sex before you marry. But your life will be less than the life that God intends you to have. Your choices will have consequences, and God will show you that you chose wrongly. Because he loves you. Cultures come and go, and to some extent we express our Christianity within culture. But in every culture, the temptation to use sex in some way that God did not intend it is strong. There are even ways to use sex within marriage in ways that God did not intend…. again, another day.

Do you trust God? When Eve saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. We make that same mistake, over and over again… not trusting God and doing what seems good to us. And we pay the price. Or rather, Jesus pays the ultimate price and we suffer some consequences. You are making a statement about who you trust by how you handle your sex life.

I was working out today while Jesus bled on the cross

I was working out while Jesus bled on the cross today. Good Friday. It was around noon. The “sixth hour”.

Spirit
flesh
me

Leading up to noon, one of the criminals crucified with Jesus mocked him. The other rebuked him, accepting enough of the knowledge of God given him. He trusted. Which am I?

“It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour…” (Luke 23:44)

I was at the gym when I realized the time had reached (in Long Beach, anyway) “the sixth hour”. I was working out after aerobics on a weight machine.

one, two, three, four….

Jesus was on the cross today. Good Friday.
Suffering like this! You’re done already.
It was nothing like this. A flea to an elephant, or less.

…five six seven eight nine ten…

Mocked.
Trusted.
Which one is from me?
You’re suffering now!
Both are from you!

…eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen…

It became dark as the king of glory’s body weakened unto death. For three hours it darkened. My labor is as nothing compared to his.
Stop already.
Yes, it is as nothing, compared.

….seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two…

I was gritting my teeth. I want to stop. (I can stop! There’s no deep significance to this minor pain.)
Stop already!!
Yes, it is as nothing, compared.

….twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five twenty-six twenty-seven twenty-eight…

They offered him vinegar to suck from a sponge, on a stick. As he hung on the cross. Bleeding. Weighed down by my sins.
You could use a drink just now. But go for water instead of vinegar.
This is nothing, compared. There is a deeper thirst, and better water.
Remember, it wasn’t only your sins.

….twenty-nine thirty thirty-one… thirty-two

32 is a power of two, you nerd, STOP NOW!
I stopped. And sagged.
It is nothing, compared to the weight of sin and his suffering.
Yes. It is nothing.

I can do nothing to compare or augment or change what Christ has done for me, for us. Except live.
Live my life in my power. Eat and drink deeply. You will never hunger or thirst again.

I await the ninth hour. His ninth hour, and my own. And (more) what comes after.

Peace with God means conflict with the world…

I’m not really trying to get into deep theological controversies and discourse around Moltmann. I don’t think I’m up to speed on the modern theological scene. However, I find this quote from him to be something worth chewing on.

But on the other hand, all this must inevitably mean that the man who thus hopes will never be able to reconcile himself with the laws and constraints of this earth, neither with the inevitability of death nor with the evil that constantly bears further evil. The raising of Christ is not merely a consolation to him in a life that is full of distress and doomed to die, but it is also God’s contradiction of suffering and death, of humiliation and offence, and of the wickedness of evil. Hope finds in Christ not only a consolation in suffering, but also the protest of the divine promise against suffering. If Paul calls death the ‘last enemy’ (1 Cor. 15:26), then the opposite is also true: that the risen Christ, and with him the resurrection hope, must be declared to be the enemy of death and of a world that puts up with death. Faith takes up this contradiction and thus becomes itself a contradiction to the world of death. That is why faith, wherever it develops into hope, causes not rest but unrest, not patience but impatience. It does not calm the unquiet heart, but is itself this unquiet heart in man. Those who hope in Christ can no longer put up with reality as it is, but begin to suffer under it, to contradict it. Peace with God means conflict with the world, for the goad of the promised future stabs inexorably into the flesh of every unfulfilled present.

Jürgen Moltmann. Theology of Hope

A Discernment Process

Discernment – The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment.
The Free Online Dictionary

We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.
– Paul of Tarsus, 1 Corinthians 2:12 [niv]

Test everything. Hold on to the good.
– Paul of Tarsus, 1 Thessalonians 5:21 [niv]

Judgment is an ambiguous word, in Greek as in English: it may mean sitting in judgment on people (or even condemning them), or it may mean exercising a proper discrimination. In the former sense judgment is depreciated; in the latter sense it is recommended.
– F.F. Bruce, The Hard Sayings of Jesus

Background

What do you do when you have an important decision to make and you want to move forward with confidence that you are in God’s will? How do you test if your “bright idea” or vision is from God? How do Christians bear one another’s burdens, speaking the truth in love? For background reading, consider 1 Corinthians 2:6-16, Ephesians 4:11-24, and Hebrews 10:24-25.

As Quakers, we believe that Christ is the head of his church and arrange our practice around this present-day reality. We believe he has come to teach his people himself. However, rather than conceiving of this as strictly a matter between Jesus and each individual Christian, Quakers have for centuries valued the discernment of the community of believers gathered in Christ’s presence. After all, if Christ is the head of the church, is the church not his physical presence with us?

Friends have made use of a structure traditionally known as a clearness committee. This essay is not intended to be an overview of Quaker traditions, but it may be helpful to point out that this discernment process owes much to this tradition. Of course there are other precedents, not least of which might be the council at Jerusalem recorded in Acts 15. There are other means by which God offers his guidance. This is one that has proven useful to many of his people in our experience.

Preparing… For those seeking discernment

Discuss your thinking ahead of time with others. Don’t feel as if you need to keep your thinking to yourself. Communicating and discussing ahead of time is good so long as it respects that fact that you are gathering a group to offer you their discernment in the end. So communicate and explain and think out loud. Establish a context with the people who will be helping with your discernment. But if you’ve already decided, then don’t gather a group that is unaware of where you are in the process. Keep an open mind.

Here are some questions that you might consider in preparing to share your idea or question with others who gather with you for corporate discernment.

  1. Where are you in the process of defining your project or goal?
  2. What prayer is being focused on your project or goal? Your own? Others?
  3. What key scripture is guiding your thinking?
  4. How are those closest to you in the Lord involved and responding?
  5. What counsel from trusted, mature Christians have you sought and heard?
  6. Is there more information that should be gathered?
  7. How would you describe the orientation of your project or goal along to
    the following “dimensions”:

    • connect – grow – serve
    • personal or corporate
    • discipleship or leadership
    • church or community
  8. Practically speaking, are you ready for the discernment process? Who should be invited to participate in this discernment process? What is the schedule you have in mind for making a decision? Have you allowed the time needed to extend invitations and explain to others and allow them to pray?
  9. Do others experienced in this process think you are ready?

Remember that you are presenting an idea, a vision, or a question. You do not need to have a detailed plan of action worked out. Those asking questions and giving feedback can ask about practical issues, but should not expect that a detailed plan is already in hand.

There is much about the Christian life that is assumed in this process. Some of the sections of this essay – those at the end – are intended to help in shedding some light on the context that is necessary for a process such as this to work.

Preparing… For those serving in a meeting for discernment

Your role is simple, really. Listen. Learn what you can in advance from the person who wants discernment, but don’t fret too much if you still have questions. Begin ahead of the meeting to pray for God’s blessing on this person. Ask for clarity in His will, ways, and purpose for them. Offer yourself to God to be used in this process in any way that He chooses.

There is one caution. Hold your role in this process with “an open hand”. Your opinion is not what is important. It is your role in gathering with other believers to seek Jesus’ guidance that is important. It is your support for his direction in the life of the one who is seeking discernment that is important.

During the meeting, as the time for prayer approaches, allow the words read from scripture to focus your mind. They have been chosen by the one seeking discernment as somehow representing this occasion. Let other concerns drop from consciousness and clear your mind to be filled by the Spirit of God. As the prayer time begins, offer yourself to God to serve him and your brother or sister who is seeking discernment. Then listen quietly, trusting that He is present to guide. Speak up during the prayer time only if God moves you to speak.

During the feedback time of the meeting after prayer, humbly report what you have received from him. Present it just as he gave it to you – no amplification, no commentary, no extra thoughts or opinions. Just report. Sometimes you might see a picture. Or certain words in scripture may come to seem important. Contribute what God gives you. That’s all you need to do.

After the meeting, keep listening, praying, communicating, and encouraging in the Lord. The group might meet again, but usually once is enough.

The Meeting

Here is an outline of a discernment process meeting. Plan for one cycle of this process to take about one hour. There’s nothing critical about the one-hour time period or how it is broken up below. This is a suggested pattern for when a schedule of one hour is appropriate. For important decisions where time permits, longer in prayer is better. More clarification time could also be useful, but not at the expense of the time in prayer. Appoint a host who can humbly lead the group through the meeting.

  1. The host briefly explains the process, if necessary. (1-2 minutes)
  2. The person asking for discernment presents a vision or idea with a key scripture. (10 minutes)
  3. The group asks clarifying questions. (5-10 minutes)
  4. Someone from the group (a different voice) reads the scripture passage again.
  5. Pray for discernment, asking for God to give discernment and clarity. Generally this is silent, waiting prayer time, but one or more may speak as led. Often no one will speak. (15-20 minutes)
  6. The group gives feedback and discusses impressions. (10-15 minutes)
  7. Close in prayer, the group praying aloud to bless the person seeking discernment. If culturally appropriate, gathering around the person seeking discernment with your hands on them can be powerful.(5 minutes)

There is usually much to talk about after such a meeting. Some, usually those closest to the one seeking discernment with recognized spiritual authority will take more of the lead in following up. The one who is seeking discernment should, of course, remain in contact and communicate their thankfulness to the community that has supported them.

Questions to ask yourself when seeking discernment

Consider the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30. The life you have is what God has already given you. How have you invested it? Why would God invest more in you if you have not done well with what he has already given? So, when asking for direction or discernment for the future, one must consider the present. Make good with what you’ve already been given before expecting more. Here are some questions based on a set I once wrote for myself as a sort of ongoing spiritual self-evaluation. I’ve incorporated suggestions to improve them. You may find them helpful. Of course, they are intended for one who is trusting Jesus as Lord and Savior already.

  1. Do you have credibility with the poor?
  2. Do you study and understand scripture?
  3. Do you pray?
  4. Do you see God working around you?
  5. Are you dealing with conflict and unfair criticism or accusations well?
  6. How do you react to gossip? Do you gossip?
  7. Are you bearing spiritual fruit?
  8. Are your relationships good (as it depends on you)? Do they honor God?
  9. How do friends and co-workers regard you?
  10. Do you speak the truth in love?
  11. Do you have mature Christians who know you well supporting you in your decisions?
  12. Are you tithing?
  13. Are you serving God where you are in all you do?
  14. Do you confess your sin appropriately?
  15. Do you pursue excellence in what you do?
  16. Do you control your emotions or do they control you?
  17. Are you consistently winning the battle against temptation?
  18. To what extent are fear, ambition, greed, lust, vanity, guilt, shame – and the like – affecting my present decisions?

It is rare to be unable to find areas in which I fall short. (Actually, it has never happened.) However, there is a difference between falling short and harboring sin. Harboring sin is when I know that something is wrong; but I choose to go ahead with it anyway, giving it place in my life. The sin grows stronger as I allow it to remain intact and do not war against it. This is a sure way to spiritual death. Consider the warning of Paul in Galatians 6:7-10! There is no way to be sure of God’s will for the future when one is harboring sin in the present.

Personal Steps to Knowing God

Every Christian is called to live a life following Jesus’ teaching. (Think Sermon on the Mount. None of us have that down yet!) Every Christian is called to use whatever gifts and talents they have to serve God, serve the body of believers, and serve the poor. (Romans 12:1-2, 1 Peter 4:10, 1 Corinthians 12:7, Matthew 25:31-46) These two areas of God’s will for us are clear. There’s no need to ask, though there may be more we need to learn. It is easy to fall into the pride of asking for God’s special will for me and my life when what I really need to do is practice obedience in what I already know!

In that same vein, here’s another list I made for a sermon some years ago.

  1. Offer your life to God. Be available. Anything – anywhere – anytime; nothing is held back! Romans 12:1-2
  2. Do what you know to be God’s will where you are now: job, school, family, friends, church.
  3. Renew your mind with the scriptures. Learn God’s ways and purpose.
  4. Practice spiritual disciplines.
  5. Prefer a low place. Prefer the poor. Serve.
  6. Purify your heart. Get rid of sin.
  7. Seek God’s will with other Christians. Worship. Fast. Pray. Ask.
  8. Put yourself where you can hear God. Give time to listening, and stretch yourself in circumstances.
  9. Be strong and courageous.
  10. Be patient. Don’t hurry. Wait for clarity. Go when you know. Moses spent 40 years as a kid, 40 years in the desert, and then led Israel for 40 years. Jesus spent 30 years living a private life and a bit over 3 years in public ministry. Most of life (some would say all) is preparation.

For Further Reading

The two resources that I am recommending are not specifically about this process. They are, rather, about the larger context of hearing and experiencing God. You will be able to see where a process such as this one fits into the larger picture as you consider them.

I highly recommend the book Hearing God by Dallas Willard. This is the best overall consideration of this topic that I know of.

In addition, a practical approach to this question can be found in Experiencing God, a 13-week workbook put together by Henry Blackaby, Richard Blackaby, and Claude King. I’ve worked through this workbook more than once. Friends from diverse walks of life such as college presidents and professors to high-school drop-outs have found it very helpful. I don’t know of any other extra-biblical resource with that kind of track record! (FYI, it’s cheaper at Lifeway Stores than at Amazon.)

More Scripture

On the importance of love for proper discernment, consider Philippians 1:9-10.

Love leads to obedience leads to knowing God… John 14:15-31.

Remaining in Christ and loving one another… John 15:1-17.

The Spirit makes things known… John 16:12-16.

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