It seems nearly impossible for people from conventional backgrounds, particularly Christians, in my experience, to approach those who are homeless or otherwise in unconventional circumstances without trying to “fix them”. It seems that we are afflicted with a desire to play God for other human beings. Watch the movie The Soloist for a great depiction of the temptation and where it leads. The book When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor…and Yourself by Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert has an excellent section covering this topic.

In our ministry at LBFC, we are committed to the idea that every person deserves to be treated with dignity. People are not primarily a target for our evangelism. We love to introduce people to Jesus, and are outspoken in pointing to Jesus; but it is all too easy to objectify people, carving notches on our Bibles when we get them to “pray the prayer”. God forbid that we treat people with anything less than authenticity. People on the street are accustomed to being herded and disrespected by those who represent authority (which includes pretty much anyone who is not on the street too). We must intentionally establish relationships of a nature that allow authentic exchange. Frankly, while I’m glad to share the gospel when the opportunity arises, I do not usually ask people if they want to make a commitment to Christ until we’ve come to a place in the relationship where I feel as though the person will be able to respond truthfully, having some idea of who I am and why I think this is important. Par for the course in Christian ministry to the homeless is that the homeless know they need to “pray the prayer” in order to access resources from Christians who favor those who cooperate in their evangelism efforts.

We simply must not see people as primarily objects of our improvement efforts. To think in these terms is to assume a superior position that is not worthy of the king who washed his disciples’ feet, and called us to follow him. Human beings are created in the image of God. They are inherently worthy of respectful and dignified treatment because they bear his image, however tarnished. It is tarnished in me, too! People on the street need real friendship, not co-dependency or pandering or condescension.

What are some common big mistakes?

Number One. The most pervasive and pernicious mistake that Christians make is to expect dramatic change in a short period of time. Yes, it is true that God can do miracles and there can be changes “overnight”. However, even in those who trust him, it seems more often that God works through normal human relationships of honest caring over extended periods of time to build people to be like Christ. God created families for a reason. The family is the primary setting for socialization and discipleship. It is where we learn the skills, values, and habits that are vital to healthy relationships. When a man or woman has lived a life without the shaping that comes from a healthy family – or even worse, has been deeply scarred by an abusive family – the void or damage does not evaporate overnight. Instead, what has been lacking must be replaced by constructive and formative relational experiences – family and community experiences. This shaping takes years in a normal family. Why would we expect it to take less when undertaken at a later age after years of scarring? (Think of the advantages of learning a language while young…)

Number Two. We like to play God. We don’t think of it that way, but that’s what we do. I have my act together; you do not. Let me help you. I’ll take over your life (at least the important parts) and (perhaps) let you have them back when you are ready. In truth, hardly anyone would say this so bluntly – but we act like it is what we believe. In truth, this is playing God. In truth, we who feel superior are broken people who are not qualified to run even our own lives, let alone someone else’s. If we do not acknowledge this reality, we will hurt ourselves and others when we try to “help”. The book When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor…and Yourself by Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert has an excellent section covering this topic.

That’s not all, but that’s enough for now. Pray for me to avoid these pitfalls.